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A yellow ribbon symbolising suicide awareness
By Catherine Montague March 27, 2025
Suicide is one of the leading causes of death among men in the UK, yet it remains an issue shrouded in silence and stigma. As a counsellor, I have seen the emotional burdens that many men carry—often alone. It’s time we address this crisis head-on and create a society where men feel safe to speak openly about their struggles. The Reality of Male Suicide in the UK According to the Office for National Statistics (ONS), men account for around three-quarters of all suicides in the UK. The highest rates are among men aged 45-49, but the issue spans across all ages. The question we must ask is: why? Why Are Men at Higher Risk? Several factors contribute to the disproportionately high suicide rates among men, including: 1. Societal Expectations and Masculinity From a young age, many boys are taught to “man up,” suppress their emotions, and avoid vulnerability. This cultural conditioning leads to emotional isolation, making it difficult for men to seek help when they need it most. 2. Reluctance to Seek Help Men are statistically less likely than women to access mental health services. This reluctance often stems from the stigma surrounding mental health, a fear of being perceived as weak, or a belief that they should handle problems on their own. 3. Financial and Work Pressures Men often feel intense pressure to be providers, and financial instability can lead to feelings of failure and hopelessness. Job loss, debt, and workplace stress are significant risk factors for male suicide. 4. Relationship Breakdowns Divorce or separation can have a profound impact on men’s mental health. Studies show that men who experience relationship breakdowns are at a heightened risk of suicide, partly due to the loss of emotional support and family connections. 5. Substance Abuse Many men turn to alcohol or drugs as a way to cope with emotional pain. Unfortunately, substance abuse can intensify feelings of depression and increase impulsivity, raising the risk of suicide. Why We Must Talk About Male Suicide Silence kills. The more we talk about male suicide, the more we break down the stigma surrounding men’s mental health. Open conversations can encourage men to seek support, challenge harmful societal norms, and ultimately save lives. How Can We Help? 1. Encouraging Open Conversations We must create spaces where men feel safe to express their emotions without fear of judgment. Whether it’s in the workplace, among friends, or within families, normalising discussions about mental health can make a significant difference. 2. Promoting Access to Mental Health Support Counselling and therapy should be made more accessible and appealing to men. Campaigns that highlight male experiences with therapy can help break down barriers to seeking help. 3. Challenging Traditional Notions of Masculinity It’s time to redefine strength. True strength lies in acknowledging emotions, asking for help, and supporting one another. We must teach boys and men that vulnerability is not a weakness but a vital part of being human. 4. Checking in on the Men in Our Lives Sometimes, a simple “How are you really feeling?” can make all the difference. Be there for the men in your life and encourage them to talk about their struggles. A Call to Action Male suicide is preventable, but we must be willing to confront the issue directly. By fostering open dialogue, promoting mental health support, and challenging harmful stereotypes, we can create a culture where men feel empowered to seek help. If you or someone you know is struggling, reach out. You are not alone, and help is available. For immediate support, you can contact Samaritans at 116 123
By Catherine Montague March 4, 2025
Le t’s be honest—self-care has become the buzzword of the century. Every influencer, wellness guru, and random person on the internet (including me) is telling you to practice self-care. But what is self-care, really? Is it expensive bath salts? Is it screaming into a pillow? Is it eating an entire cake because “you deserve it”? The answer: yes—but also, no. Self-Care vs. Self-Sabotage A common misconception is that self-care means doing whatever makes you feel good in the moment. That’s how we end up calling a five-hour Netflix binge “mental health time” when, really, it’s just an excuse to avoid our responsibilities. True self-care isn’t just about indulging yourself—it’s about taking care of yourself in ways that future-you will appreciate. For example: ✅ Self-care – Going to bed at a reasonable hour. ❌ Self-sabotage – Staying up until 3 AM watching conspiracy videos about why pigeons are actually government spies. ✅ Self-care – Drinking water to stay hydrated. ❌ Self-sabotage – Drinking six iced coffees and wondering why your anxiety is tap-dancing on your nervous system. Types of Self-Care (Yes, There’s More Than One!) 1. Physical Self-Care (Your Body Will Thank You) Exercise, eating vegetables, stretching—basically, all the things we know we should do but avoid like that email from our boss. The key here isn’t punishing yourself at the gym but moving your body in ways that feel good. Dancing in your kitchen counts. So does walking to the fridge for snacks (kind of). 2. Mental Self-Care (Giving Your Brain a Break) Your brain is like an internet browser with 57 tabs open at all times. Meditation, journaling, and setting boundaries help you close a few of those tabs before your mental WiFi crashes. 3. Emotional Self-Care (Because Feelings Are a Thing, Apparently) Ever cried in the car for no reason? No? Just me? Emotional self-care means allowing yourself to feel things instead of bottling them up like a volcano of stress. Therapy, talking to friends, or even just screaming into the void can be helpful. 4. Social Self-Care (But Make It Selective) Not all social interactions are equal. Saying yes to everything? Exhausting. Saying yes only to people who energise you? That’s self-care. Cutting toxic people out of your life is the emotional equivalent of deleting 100GB of junk files from your computer. 5. Spiritual Self-Care (No, You Don’t Have to Become a Monk) Whether it’s prayer, meditation, or just staring at the sky and contemplating the meaning of life, taking time to connect with something bigger than yourself can be incredibly grounding. The Bottom Line: Self-Care is a Necessity, Not a Luxury Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s not just about face masks and scented candles (although those are great too). It’s about doing what makes you a happier, healthier, less-grouchy human. And if that means taking a nap instead of answering emails? So be it. Now go drink some water, take a deep breath, and remember: self-care isn’t a trend—it’s survival.
A woman is holding her hair in her hands and making a funny face.
By Catherine Montague February 3, 2025
You’ve decided to get a therapist. Congratulations! That means you’ve officially accepted that handling all of life’s problems alone isn’t totally working. Great! But now comes the tricky part—actually finding a therapist. And let me tell you, this process is even difficult for us therapists (I know, it blows your mind that therapists have therapy). You want to find someone who you can share your deepest darkest thoughts with, that really gets you, but let’s face it even after a lifetime it is hard to find non judgemental relationships like that. Step 1: Realising You Have No Idea Where to Start We all assume that searching for a therapist will be easy. I’ll just Google “therapists near me” and pick one! And then—BAM. You’re hit with seven million results featuring words like “CBT,” “integrative approach,” and “psychodynamic therapy,” and suddenly, you feel like you need a therapist just to help you pick a therapist. Step 2: The Great Directory Hunt So you venture onto professional therapy directories, where you’re greeted with a parade of therapists’ headshots, all doing the classic “soft smile while leaning slightly forward” pose. You click on a few profiles and realise that every bio sounds something like: "I offer a client-centered, holistic, trauma-informed approach that integrates multiple therapeutic modalities to meet your individual needs in a compassionate and non-judgmental space." Which is great… but also tells you absolutely nothing about whether this person will vibe with your awkward jokes or understand why you still think about that embarrassing thing you did in 2009. Step 3: Budgeting, or “How Much Do My Feelings Cost?” Now, let’s talk money. Because unless therapy is covered by insurance (or you’ve struck), the reality is that mental health help comes with a price tag. You scroll through therapist profiles, feeling hopeful, until you see £90 per session. Hmm. That’s… a lot of money. You start calculating: “That’s 6 bottles of wine, even in Waitrose, a new pair of trainers or a productive spree on Vinted”. But then you remind yourself: mental health is an investment, and also, therapy is probably cheaper than moving to a remote cabin to avoid all human interaction forever. Step 4: The Email of Doom So, you’ve found a therapist who seems promising, and now it’s time to reach out. You want to sound casual yet professional, friendly but not desperate. Your email draft goes something like this: "Dear [Therapist's Name], I’m interested in therapy. I have some issues (but like, normal ones, not scary ones). Are you taking new clients? Also, how does therapy even work? Do I just start crying immediately or is there a warm-up period? Anyway, let me know! Sincerely, Anxious but Enthusiastic" After rewriting it 15 times to sound ‘normal’, you finally hit send—only to stare at your inbox for the next three hours, wondering if they think you’re weird. Step 5: The First Session Jitters Eventually, you get a response! The therapist has availability, and now it’s time for the first session. This is the therapy equivalent of a blind date, except instead of ordering drinks and flirting, you’re spilling your deepest traumas to a stranger in a cardigan (I love a cardigan). The session begins. You don’t know where to start. Do you dive into childhood? Rant about work? Cry about your houseplants dying? Your therapist sits patiently, waiting for you to begin. Luckily, your therapist will guide you through the process, and soon, you will feel safe enough to explore your feelings and concentrate on you rather than all the noise surrounding you. Step 6: Realising Therapy is Actually Pretty Great At first, therapy feels weird—like talking to a very expensive friend who won’t interrupt you to tell you their own problems. But then, something shifts. You start having breakthroughs. You learn coping mechanisms. You realise that not everything in life is your fault . And suddenly, you get it. Therapy isn’t just about venting; it’s about growing, healing, and figuring out why you can’t stop saying “sorry” for things that aren’t your fault. Final Thoughts: Is It Worth It? Absolutely. Even if the search was chaotic, even if the first session was awkward, even if therapy forces you to confront uncomfortable truths—it’s worth it. Because, at the end of the day, taking care of your mental health is just as important as taking care of your physical health. Trust me, I’m a therapist ;-)
A man and a woman are sitting on a couch watching netflix on a television.
By Catherine Montague January 23, 2025
As a counsellor, I often hear about the small joys that help people unwind after a long day, and one guilty pleasure that frequently comes up is reality TV. From emotional reunions to dramatic showdowns, these shows captivate us in ways we can’t always explain. But is there something deeper behind our obsession? Let’s explore the psychology behind why we can’t look away. 1. The Drama as Emotional Release Our daily lives don’t always come with explosive arguments, unexpected plot twists, or grand romantic gestures. Reality TV provides a safe way to experience and process heightened emotions without real-life consequences. Watching these intense moments allows us to engage with strong feelings—from anger to joy—without being personally involved, giving us a much-needed emotional outlet. 2. Social Comparison and Self-Reflection Psychologists often talk about social comparison theory, where we measure ourselves against others to understand our own strengths and weaknesses. Watching reality TV, we might see contestants making questionable choices and think, "At least I wouldn’t do that!" But sometimes, we might also identify with their struggles, giving us a chance to reflect on our own challenges and personal growth. 3. The Illusion of Connection and Belonging Reality TV shows are designed to make us feel like we know the contestants personally. The use of direct-to-camera confessions creates a sense of intimacy, making us feel connected to their stories. As human beings, we crave belonging, and these shows create an illusion of community—whether we’re rooting for an underdog or passionately discussing last night’s episode with friends. 4. Escapism and Stress Relief Life can be overwhelming, and sometimes, we just need a break. Reality TV provides a way to temporarily step out of our own worries and immerse ourselves in someone else’s (often exaggerated) world. Whether it’s a cooking competition or a dating show, this distraction can help relieve stress and offer a much-needed mental break. 5. The Psychology of Cliffhangers Producers know how to keep us hooked, often ending episodes on a cliffhanger. This plays into the Zeigarnik Effect, a psychological principle where our brains remember unfinished tasks more than completed ones. The result? We keep watching, eager for resolution—often leading to that familiar, "Just one more episode..." moment and the shameful “Are you still watching” (Thanks for that Netflix and Prime, as if we don’t have enough Judgy McJudgerson in our lives) 6. Finding Hope in the Storylines Despite the chaos, reality TV also provides moments of hope and transformation. Whether it’s an underdog winning a competition, someone overcoming adversity, or a couple finding love, these stories remind us that positive change is possible. As a counsellor, I see how powerful hope can be in personal growth, and even reality TV can play a small role in inspiring people to believe in new possibilities. Should We Feel Guilty About Watching? Absolutely not! Like anything in life, balance is key. If watching reality TV brings joy, relaxation, or even insight into human behavior, then it has value. The important thing is to be mindful of how it affects your well-being. If it’s enhancing your life rather than detracting from it, then enjoy it without guilt. As a counsellor, I believe in embracing the things that bring us joy—whether that’s mindfulness, therapy, or a binge-worthy reality show, now excuse me I have a “meeting” I must get to ;-)
Catherine Montague Psychotherapy - Hormones and Mental Health
By Catherine Montague November 4, 2024
Our bodies and minds are intricately connected, and one of the most powerful links between the two is our hormones. Hormones, the chemical messengers of the body, influence countless physical processes, from growth and metabolism to sleep and stress responses. They also significantly affect our mental health, often in complex ways. Here, we’ll dive into how various hormones interact with our mental health, what fluctuations can mean for mood and cognitive function, and some steps to keep the balance right. 1. The Science of Hormones and Mental Health Hormones are produced by glands in the endocrine system and released directly into the bloodstream. These chemicals then travel to various parts of the body, affecting organs, tissues, and, importantly, the brain. Different hormones impact mental health differently, influencing everything from mood to motivation, memory, and concentration. For example: Cortisol, often known as the “stress hormone,” is released in response to stress and low blood sugar. In short bursts, cortisol helps us respond to danger. However, chronic high levels can lead to anxiety, depression, and cognitive impairment. Estrogen and progesterone, key sex hormones, fluctuate during the menstrual cycle and can affect mood, which can lead to issues like premenstrual syndrome (PMS) or, in more severe cases, premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). Thyroid hormones regulate energy metabolism and have a notable impact on mood and mental clarity. Both hyperthyroidism (overactive thyroid) and hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid) can cause mood swings, irritability, and in severe cases, depression. Understanding these hormone-driven fluctuations helps make sense of why we may feel more irritable, anxious, or low-energy at certain times. 2. Key Hormones that Influence Mental Health Let’s take a closer look at some specific hormones that play a crucial role in mental health. a) Cortisol: The Stress Hormone Cortisol is released during times of stress by the adrenal glands. In the short term, it helps us manage immediate threats by triggering the "fight or flight" response, which increases alertness and energy. However, chronic stress can lead to prolonged elevated cortisol levels, which has been linked to anxiety disorders, depression, and memory problems. Research Insight: Long-term high cortisol exposure can even lead to structural changes in the brain, particularly in areas like the hippocampus (involved in memory) and the prefrontal cortex (involved in decision-making and emotion regulation). b) Estrogen and Progesterone: The Female Sex Hormones Estrogen and progesterone have wide-ranging effects on mood and mental clarity. During different phases of the menstrual cycle, levels of these hormones vary, often leading to mood changes. Estrogen has a protective effect on mood by helping maintain serotonin levels, a neurotransmitter linked to happiness and calmness. When estrogen levels drop, as they do in menopause, some women may experience increased irritability or even depression. Research Insight: Studies show that low levels of estrogen can affect serotonin production, leading to increased risks of depression, especially in women during menopause or post-pregnancy. c) Testosterone: The Male Sex Hormone While testosterone is known as a male hormone, it also plays an important role in women’s bodies, albeit in smaller amounts. In men, low levels of testosterone have been linked to depression, fatigue, and irritability. Women with low testosterone may also experience these symptoms, especially in midlife when testosterone naturally decreases. Research Insight: Studies indicate that men with low testosterone levels are more likely to experience depression, and treatment with testosterone therapy has shown promising results for mood improvement in some cases. d) Thyroid Hormones: The Metabolism Regulators Thyroid hormones are responsible for regulating metabolism, but they also have a significant impact on mental health. Hypothyroidism (low thyroid hormone levels) can cause depression, fatigue, and memory issues, while hyperthyroidism (high thyroid levels) can lead to anxiety, restlessness, and irritability. Research Insight: Since thyroid imbalances are relatively common, particularly in women, it’s important to check thyroid hormone levels if experiencing persistent mood symptoms, as treatments can be effective. e) Serotonin and Dopamine: The Mood and Motivation Boosters Although serotonin and dopamine are neurotransmitters rather than hormones, they interact closely with hormonal pathways and are crucial for regulating mood and motivation. Low serotonin is linked to depression and anxiety, while low dopamine can contribute to low motivation and a lack of pleasure in activities. Research Insight: Hormones like estrogen can enhance serotonin’s effects, which is why changes in estrogen levels can impact mood. Dopamine, similarly, is affected by stress hormones like cortisol, which can reduce dopamine activity under chronic stress. 3. Hormonal Imbalances and Mental Health Conditions When hormone levels are disrupted, it can increase the risk of mental health conditions. For example: Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) and PMS can result from fluctuations in estrogen and progesterone before menstruation. Postpartum depression is influenced by the dramatic drop in estrogen and progesterone levels after childbirth. Adrenal fatigue (the reduced function of adrenal glands) due to chronic stress can lead to low cortisol, contributing to depression and fatigue. Hypothyroidism and hyperthyroidism can lead to depressive symptoms and anxiety, respectively. 4. Managing Hormonal Health to Support Mental Wellness The good news is there are ways to manage hormone levels to support mental well-being: Balanced Diet: Nutrient-rich foods provide building blocks for hormones. Omega-3 fatty acids, found in fish and flaxseeds, have been shown to reduce inflammation and stabilize mood. Physical Activity: Regular exercise can lower cortisol and increase dopamine and serotonin, improving overall mental health. Adequate Sleep: Sleep is crucial for hormone regulation. Poor sleep can increase cortisol, decrease testosterone, and impact mood-regulating neurotransmitters. Mindfulness and Stress Reduction: Meditation, deep breathing exercises, and other relaxation techniques can lower cortisol levels and enhance feelings of calm. Consulting Healthcare Providers: For those who suspect hormone-related mood issues, consulting a healthcare provider is key. Hormone therapy or medications may help address imbalances, and many treatments can support mental health directly. Conclusion: The Path to Harmony Between Hormones and Mental Health Hormones are a powerful influence on our mental health, affecting how we think, feel, and even interact with others. By understanding these hormonal impacts and working towards a balanced lifestyle, we can better support our mental well-being and, ultimately, lead a healthier, more balanced life. Whether it's managing stress or ensuring we get proper nutrition, there are small, manageable steps that can make a big difference. Hormonal health and mental health go hand in hand, and nurturing both can lead to a happier, healthier life.
Catherine Montague Psychotherapy - Neural Pathways
By Catherine Montague October 2, 2024
Our brains are remarkable machines, constantly reshaping themselves in response to our thoughts, behaviours, and experiences. This adaptability, known as neuroplasticity, allows us to learn new skills, form habits, and even recover from trauma. Rewiring neural pathways involves intentionally leveraging this natural ability to transform our thought patterns, emotional responses, and behaviours for the better. What Are Neural Pathways? Neural pathways are connections between neurons in the brain that allow information to flow. Think of them as well-worn trails in a forest. The more you use a particular pathway—whether it’s a habit, skill, or emotional response—the more defined and efficient it becomes. Conversely, pathways that aren’t used as often begin to fade, like trails overgrown with vegetation. This "use it or lose it" principle means that we can intentionally reinforce beneficial pathways while letting unhelpful ones weaken. How Does Rewiring Work? Rewiring neural pathways typically involves three steps: Awareness Recognize the patterns you want to change. For instance, maybe you notice you default to negative self-talk when faced with challenges. Awareness is the first step toward change because you can’t rewire what you don’t notice. Replacement Replace the unhelpful pattern with a healthier one. For example, instead of “I’m terrible at this,” you could try “This is challenging, but I can improve with practice.” Repeatedly choosing the new pathway strengthens it over time. Repetition and Practice Repetition is crucial. The more often you engage in the new behaviour or thought pattern, the stronger the pathway becomes. Just like building muscle at the gym, rewiring your brain requires consistent effort. Strategies for Rewiring Neural Pathways Mindfulness and Meditation Practicing mindfulness allows you to observe your thoughts and emotions without judgment. This helps you identify negative patterns and create space for intentional responses. Visualisation Visualising a new habit or skill activates similar neural pathways as actually performing it. Athletes and performers often use visualisation to prepare their minds for success. Gratitude Practice Regularly reflecting on things you’re grateful for can shift your brain's default mode from negativity to positivity, creating pathways that emphasise abundance rather than scarcity. Learning Something New Challenging your brain with new skills—whether it’s playing an instrument, learning a language, or picking up a hobby—creates fresh pathways and keeps the brain flexible. Therapy and Coaching Therapists and coaches trained in approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) can guide you in identifying and replacing unhelpful neural patterns. Positive Affirmations Repeating affirmations can help reframe negative beliefs about yourself, creating new, empowering pathways over time. The Science Behind Change The concept of long-term potentiation (LTP) is central to rewiring neural pathways. LTP refers to the strengthening of synapses (connections between neurons) through repeated use. Each time you engage in a new behaviour or think a certain way, you reinforce the synapse, making it easier to activate in the future. This is why habits can feel automatic after a while—they are deeply ingrained pathways that have been strengthened through repetition. Challenges and Persistence Rewiring neural pathways isn’t an overnight process. Old habits may resist change, and progress might feel slow. However, the brain’s plasticity is lifelong, meaning it’s never too late to reshape your mental landscape. With persistence, patience, and self-compassion, you can create a brain environment that supports your goals and well-being. Final Thoughts Rewiring neural pathways is about reclaiming control over your mind. By intentionally shaping your thought patterns and behaviours, you can break free from old limitations and embrace a more empowered version of yourself. The brain’s adaptability is one of its greatest gifts—use it to your advantage, and the possibilities are endless.
The difference between counselling and psychotherapy in Wokingham
By Catherine Montague September 1, 2024
The difference between counselling and psychotherapy
Parental Guilt
By Catherine Montague August 23, 2024
Parental guilt—it's a feeling that almost every parent experiences at some point. Whether you're a new parent trying to navigate the challenges of raising a child, or a seasoned parent balancing the needs of your family with your personal life, guilt can creep in and take hold. But what exactly is parental guilt, and how can you manage it without letting it overwhelm you? What Is Parental Guilt? Parental guilt is the feeling of inadequacy or failure that parents often experience when they believe they are not meeting the expectations—whether their own or society's—of being a "good" parent. This guilt can manifest in many ways, from feeling bad about missing a school event to questioning whether you're making the right decisions for your child's future. Common Triggers of Parental Guilt Work-Life Balance: Many parents struggle with balancing work and family life. The guilt of not spending enough time with your children, or feeling torn between career ambitions and family responsibilities, is a common trigger. Comparisons to Others: In today's social media-driven world, it's easy to compare yourself to other parents who seem to have it all together. Seeing pictures of perfectly planned birthday parties, immaculate homes, and happy, well-behaved children can make you feel like you're not measuring up. Decision-Making: Whether it's choosing the right school, disciplining your child, or managing their diet, the pressure to make the "right" decisions can lead to constant second-guessing and guilt. Unrealistic Expectations: Parents often set high standards for themselves, striving to be the perfect parent in every way. When reality doesn't align with these expectations, guilt can quickly set in. Past Mistakes: Reflecting on past decisions or actions can lead to lingering guilt, especially if you believe those choices negatively impacted your child. The Impact of Parental Guilt While a certain amount of guilt is natural and can even be motivating, chronic or excessive parental guilt can be harmful. It can lead to stress, anxiety, and burnout, making it harder to enjoy parenting and maintain a healthy relationship with your child. Moreover, children can pick up on their parents' stress, which can affect their emotional well-being. Strategies for Managing Parental Guilt Acknowledge Your Feelings: The first step in managing parental guilt is to acknowledge it. Recognise that it's okay to feel guilty sometimes—it's a natural part of being a caring parent. By acknowledging your feelings, you can begin to address them in a healthy way. Challenge Unrealistic Expectations: Reflect on the expectations you have for yourself as a parent. Are they realistic? Are you holding yourself to an impossible standard? Remember, there is no such thing as a perfect parent. Allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them. Focus on the Positive: Instead of dwelling on what you think you're doing wrong, focus on what you're doing right. Celebrate your successes, no matter how small, and remind yourself of the positive impact you're having on your child's life. Set Boundaries and Prioritise Self-Care: It's important to take care of yourself to be the best parent you can be. Set boundaries to protect your time and energy, and make self-care a priority. Whether it's taking a walk, reading a book, or simply taking a few moments to breathe, caring for yourself is essential. Seek Support: Talking to other parents, a counsellor, or a therapist can provide valuable perspective and support. Sometimes, sharing your feelings and hearing others' experiences can help you realise that you're not alone and that your guilt is often unfounded. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness can help you stay present in the moment and reduce anxiety about the past or future. By focusing on the here and now, you can appreciate the time you spend with your child and let go of some of the guilt. Learn to Let Go: Some guilt may linger, especially over past decisions or actions. It’s important to learn how to forgive yourself and let go of guilt that no longer serves you. Remember, parenting is a journey, and it's okay to learn and grow along the way. Final Thoughts Parental guilt is a common experience, but it doesn't have to define your parenting journey. By acknowledging your feelings, challenging unrealistic expectations, and practising self-care, you can healthily manage guilt. Remember, being a parent is one of the most challenging and rewarding roles you can take on, and you're doing better than you think. Remember our children learn from us so if we can demonstrate being content with the simpler things in life they will be too. Embrace the imperfections, celebrate the victories, and know that you're not alone in feeling the weight of parental guilt. With time and perspective, you can navigate these feelings and focus on what truly matters—building a loving, supportive relationship with your child.
A woman is sitting on the floor with her hand on her chin wondering how many therapy sessions she needs.
By Catherine Montague August 7, 2024
Deciding to start therapy is a significant step towards improving your mental health and well-being. However, one of the common questions that arise is, "How many therapy sessions should I have?" The answer to this question is not one-size-fits-all, as it depends on various factors including the nature of your issues, your goals for therapy, and the approach used by your therapist. Let's explore these factors to help you understand what to expect. Factors Influencing the Number of Therapy Sessions 1. Nature of the Issue Short-Term Issues: If you are dealing with a specific, short-term issue such as managing stress from a recent job change or coping with a temporary period of anxiety, you might find that a limited number of sessions (such as 6-12) can be very effective. Short-term therapy is often goal-oriented and focused on specific outcomes. Long-Term Issues: For more complex or chronic issues such as long-standing depression, trauma, or personality disorders, therapy may need to be longer-term. This could mean months or even years of regular sessions to make significant progress. 2. Therapeutic Goals Symptom Relief: If your primary goal is to relieve specific symptoms, you might find relief in fewer sessions. Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), for example, is often effective in 12-20 sessions for many common issues like anxiety and depression. Personal Growth: If you are seeking therapy for personal growth, self-exploration, or to improve overall life satisfaction, the process may be more open-ended. You and your therapist can periodically review your progress and adjust the frequency and duration of sessions as needed. 3. Therapeutic Approach Different therapeutic approaches can also dictate the length of treatment: Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Typically short-term, focusing on specific issues and concrete goals. It often lasts between 12-20 sessions. Psychodynamic Therapy: Often longer-term as it delves into deep-seated issues and explores the unconscious mind. This can take several months to years. Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT): As the name suggests, this is very short-term, often around 5-10 sessions, focusing on finding solutions to specific problems. 4. Frequency of Sessions The frequency of therapy sessions can vary depending on your needs and the stage of therapy you are in: Weekly Sessions: Common for most people, especially at the beginning of therapy, to build momentum and address issues consistently. Biweekly or Monthly Sessions: May be appropriate as you make progress and need less frequent support. As Needed: Some people move to an as-needed basis, checking in with their therapist only when specific issues arise. o000o Assessing Your Progress Regularly assessing your progress with your therapist is crucial. This involves: Setting Clear Goals: Establish what you hope to achieve in therapy. Reviewing Progress: Periodically discuss with your therapist whether you're meeting your goals and how you feel about your progress. Adjusting as Needed: Be open to adjusting the frequency or type of therapy based on your evolving needs. When to Consider Ending Therapy Deciding to end therapy is a personal decision that should be made in collaboration with your therapist. Signs that you might be ready include: Achieving Goals: You've met the goals you set at the beginning of therapy. Improved Coping: You have developed effective coping strategies and feel confident in managing issues on your own. Sustained Progress: You have maintained progress over time and feel stable in your mental health. There is no definitive answer to how many therapy sessions you should have, as it varies greatly depending on individual circumstances. The key is to work closely with your therapist to establish goals, monitor progress, and adjust the treatment plan as needed. Remember, seeking therapy is a personal journey, and it's important to go at a pace that feels right for you. If you're considering therapy, don't hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional who can help you determine the best course of action based on your specific needs. erent source.
A group of young men are standing next to each other in a school hall way.
By Catherine Montague July 15, 2024
For parents, the school gates often serve as a gateway to a bustling and dynamic community filled with opportunities for connection, support, and involvement in their children's education. However, navigating the school gates can also present challenges and stressors that require resilience and adaptability. In this blog post, we'll explore practical tips and strategies to help parents not only survive but thrive in the school community. Embrace the Community Spirit: The school gates offer a unique opportunity to connect with other parents, teachers, and staff members who share a common interest in supporting children's education. Take advantage of this sense of community by introducing yourself, striking up conversations, and attending school events and meetings. Building positive relationships with fellow parents can provide valuable support, resources, and camaraderie. Manage Expectations: It's important for parents to manage their expectations and recognise that every family's experience at the school gates will be different. Avoid comparing yourself to other parents or feeling pressured to meet unrealistic standards. Instead, focus on your own priorities, values, and goals for your child's education and well-being. Communicate Effectively: Open and transparent communication is key to navigating the school gates successfully. Stay informed about school policies, procedures, and events by regularly checking newsletters, emails, and notices from the school. If you have questions or concerns, don't hesitate to reach out to teachers, administrators, or parent representatives for clarification and support. Get Involved: Engage actively in your child's education by getting involved in school activities, committees, and volunteer opportunities. Whether it's helping out with fundraisers, organising class parties, or participating in parent-teacher associations, your contributions can make a meaningful difference in the school community and strengthen your connection with your child's school. Prioritise Self-Care: Navigating the school gates can be emotionally and physically demanding, so it's essential for parents to prioritise self-care. Make time for activities that recharge and rejuvenate you, whether it's exercising, reading, spending time with loved ones, or pursuing hobbies and interests outside of parenting. Remember that taking care of yourself is essential for your well-being and ability to support your child effectively. Establish Boundaries: Maintain healthy boundaries to protect your time, energy, and emotional well-being. Learn to say no to commitments or requests that overwhelm you or interfere with your priorities. Setting boundaries allows you to maintain balance in your life and avoid burnout. Seek Support: Don't hesitate to reach out for support from friends, family members, or other parents who understand the joys and challenges of parenting. Sharing your experiences, seeking advice, and offering mutual support can help alleviate feelings of isolation and stress. Navigating the school gates as a parent can be both rewarding and challenging. By embracing the sense of community, managing expectations, communicating effectively, getting involved, prioritising self-care, establishing boundaries, and seeking support, parents can navigate the school community with confidence, resilience, and a sense of belonging. Remember, you are not alone on this journey, and together, we can support each other in raising happy, healthy, and thriving children.
Management affect of mental health
By Catherine Montague June 10, 2024
Work environments play a significant role in shaping our mental health and well-being. While supportive and positive management can foster a sense of motivation and fulfilment, dealing with bad management can have detrimental effects on our mental health. In this blog post, we'll explore the various ways in which bad management can impact mental health in the workplace and provide strategies for coping with these challenges. The Toll of Bad Management on Mental Health: Increased Stress Levels: Poor management practices, such as micromanagement, lack of communication, and unrealistic expectations, can create a stressful work environment. Constant pressure to meet deadlines, fear of reprimand, and uncertainty about job security can lead to heightened stress levels and burnout. Low Morale and Motivation: Bad management can erode employee morale and motivation, making it difficult to feel engaged and invested in one's work. A lack of recognition, appreciation, and opportunities for growth can contribute to feelings of disillusionment and disengagement. Anxiety and Uncertainty: Unclear expectations, inconsistent feedback, and frequent changes in direction from management can fuel anxiety and uncertainty among employees. Constantly second-guessing oneself and fearing negative repercussions can take a toll on mental well-being and confidence. Decreased Job Satisfaction: Employees who experience bad management may feel undervalued, unappreciated, and disconnected from their work. This sense of dissatisfaction can lead to feelings of emptiness, disillusionment, and a loss of passion for one's job. Poor Work-Life Balance: Bad management practices, such as excessive workloads, unrealistic expectations, and a lack of flexibility, can disrupt work-life balance and encroach on personal time and well-being. Struggling to juggle competing demands can lead to feelings of overwhelm and exhaustion. Coping Strategies for Dealing with Bad Management: Establish Boundaries: Set clear boundaries between work and personal life to protect your mental health and well-being. Establishing limits on working hours, unplugging from work emails and notifications after hours, and prioritising self-care activities can help restore balance and reduce stress. Seek Support: Reach out to trusted colleagues, friends, or mentors for support and guidance. Sharing your experiences with others who understand can provide validation, perspective, and a sense of solidarity during challenging times. Focus on What You Can Control: While you may not be able to change the behaviour of your managers, focus on what you can control, such as your attitude, reactions, and professional development. Set personal goals, take initiative on projects, and seek opportunities for growth and learning. Advocate for Yourself: Communicate openly and assertively with your managers about your needs, concerns, and boundaries. Expressing your thoughts and feelings in a constructive manner can help clarify expectations, address issues, and foster a more positive working relationship. Explore Your Options: If bad management persists and negatively impacts your mental health and well-being, consider exploring other job opportunities within or outside the organisation. Prioritise your mental health and happiness, and don't hesitate to seek a healthier work environment if necessary. Bad management can take a significant toll on mental health in the workplace, contributing to increased stress, low morale, anxiety, and decreased job satisfaction. By recognising the impact of bad management on mental health and implementing coping strategies to navigate these challenges, individuals can protect their well-being and resilience in the face of adversity. Remember, you deserve to work in an environment that values and supports your mental health and happiness.
A man is sitting at a table sad because he has been made redundant
By Catherine Montague May 14, 2024
Facing redundancy can be one of the most challenging experiences in a person's life. Not only does it bring financial uncertainty, but it also triggers a range of emotional and psychological responses that can profoundly impact mental health. In this blog post, we'll explore the ways in which redundancy affects mental health and provide strategies for coping with this difficult transition. The Emotional Rollercoaster of Redundancy: Shock and Denial: Upon receiving news of redundancy, individuals often experience a sense of shock and disbelief. This initial reaction may be followed by denial as they struggle to come to terms with the reality of the situation. Anxiety and Uncertainty: Redundancy brings with it a wave of anxiety and uncertainty about the future. Concerns about finances, job prospects, and providing for oneself and one's family can weigh heavily on the mind, leading to heightened stress levels and sleep disturbances. Loss and Grief: Losing a job can evoke feelings of loss and grief similar to those experienced after the death of a loved one. Individuals may mourn the loss of their identity, routine, social connections, and sense of purpose associated with their job. Low Self-Esteem and Worthlessness: Redundancy can take a toll on self-esteem and self-worth, causing individuals to question their skills, abilities, and value in the workplace. Feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness may intensify as they grapple with rejection and the stigma associated with unemployment. Depression and Isolation: Prolonged unemployment and social isolation can contribute to feelings of depression, loneliness, and social withdrawal. The lack of structure and social interaction can exacerbate feelings of emptiness and despair, leading to a downward spiral of negative thoughts and emotions. Coping Strategies for Redundancy-Related Stress: Acceptance and Adaptation: Acceptance is the first step towards coping with redundancy. Acknowledge your feelings and allow yourself to grieve the loss of your job. Embrace the reality of the situation and focus on adapting to the changes ahead. Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family members, or support groups for emotional support and encouragement. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with others who understand can provide validation, comfort, and a sense of solidarity during this challenging time. Practice Self-Care: Prioritise self-care activities that promote mental and emotional well-being, such as exercise, meditation, mindfulness, hobbies, and relaxation techniques. Taking care of your physical health and engaging in activities that bring you joy can help alleviate stress and improve resilience. Set Realistic Goals: Break down your job search and career goals into manageable steps. Set realistic expectations for yourself and celebrate small victories along the way. Stay focused on your strengths, skills, and the opportunities that lie ahead. Seek Professional Help: If you're struggling to cope with redundancy-related stress, don't hesitate to seek professional help from a therapist or counsellor. Therapy can provide a safe and supportive space to explore your feelings, develop coping strategies, and regain a sense of control over your life. Redundancy can have a profound impact on mental health, triggering a range of emotional and psychological responses. By acknowledging and addressing these challenges, individuals can navigate the transition with resilience and self-compassion. Remember, you are not alone, and help is available. With time, support, and self-care, it is possible to weather the storm of redundancy and emerge stronger on the other side.
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