But now comes the tricky part—actually finding a therapist. And let me tell you, this process is even difficult for us therapists (I know, it blows your mind that therapists have therapy). You want to find someone who you can share your deepest darkest thoughts with, that really gets you, but let’s face it even after a lifetime it is hard to find non judgemental relationships like that.
Step 1: Realising You Have No Idea Where to Start
We all assume that searching for a therapist will be easy. I’ll just Google “therapists near me” and pick one! And then—BAM. You’re hit with seven million results featuring words like “CBT,” “integrative approach,” and “psychodynamic therapy,” and suddenly, you feel like you need a therapist just to help you pick a therapist.
Step 2: The Great Directory Hunt
So you venture onto professional therapy directories, where you’re greeted with a parade of therapists’ headshots, all doing the classic “soft smile while leaning slightly forward” pose. You click on a few profiles and realise that every bio sounds something like:
"I offer a client-centered, holistic, trauma-informed approach that integrates multiple therapeutic modalities to meet your individual needs in a compassionate and non-judgmental space."
Which is great… but also tells you absolutely nothing about whether this person will vibe with your awkward jokes or understand why you still think about that embarrassing thing you did in 2009.
Step 3: Budgeting, or “How Much Do My Feelings Cost?”
Now, let’s talk money. Because unless therapy is covered by insurance (or you’ve struck), the reality is that mental health help comes with a price tag. You scroll through therapist profiles, feeling hopeful, until you see £90 per session.
Hmm. That’s… a lot of money. You start calculating: “That’s 6 bottles of wine, even in Waitrose, a new pair of trainers or a productive spree on Vinted”.
But then you remind yourself: mental health is an investment, and also, therapy is probably cheaper than moving to a remote cabin to avoid all human interaction forever.
Step 4: The Email of Doom
So, you’ve found a therapist who seems promising, and now it’s time to reach out. You want to sound casual yet professional, friendly but not desperate. Your email draft goes something like this:
"Dear [Therapist's Name],
I’m interested in therapy. I have some issues (but like, normal ones, not scary ones). Are you taking new clients? Also, how does therapy even work? Do I just start crying immediately or is there a warm-up period? Anyway, let me know!
Sincerely, Anxious but Enthusiastic"
After rewriting it 15 times to sound ‘normal’, you finally hit send—only to stare at your inbox for the next three hours, wondering if they think you’re weird.
Step 5: The First Session Jitters
Eventually, you get a response! The therapist has availability, and now it’s time for the first session. This is the therapy equivalent of a blind date, except instead of ordering drinks and flirting, you’re spilling your deepest traumas to a stranger in a cardigan (I love a cardigan).
The session begins. You don’t know where to start. Do you dive into childhood? Rant about work? Cry about your houseplants dying? Your therapist sits patiently, waiting for you to begin. Luckily, your therapist will guide you through the process, and soon, you will feel safe enough to explore your feelings and concentrate on you rather than all the noise surrounding you.
Step 6: Realising Therapy is Actually Pretty Great
At first, therapy feels weird—like talking to a very expensive friend who won’t interrupt you to tell you their own problems. But then, something shifts. You start having breakthroughs. You learn coping mechanisms. You realise that not everything in life is your fault . And suddenly, you get it. Therapy isn’t just about venting; it’s about growing, healing, and figuring out why you can’t stop saying “sorry” for things that aren’t your fault.
Final Thoughts: Is It Worth It?
Absolutely. Even if the search was chaotic, even if the first session was awkward, even if therapy forces you to confront uncomfortable truths—it’s worth it. Because, at the end of the day, taking care of your mental health is just as important as taking care of your physical health.
Trust me, I’m a therapist ;-)